I make no secret of the fact that I think that medication played a small role in my recovery in comparison to the things that I did—or was forced to do—to try to keep myself from giving into depression entirely and falling into the abyss of darkness that seemed to have a hold of a good part of me for a while.
I was lucky enough to have a mother who badgered encouraged me to get up every morning and try to get out and do something—anything—so that I wouldn’t sink deeper and spend every waking moment in bed and hiding under the covers.
With this hammered into my brain along with my own desire to get better, I had an arsenal of go-to activities that really seemed to help, even if just a little. I found comfort in some things that you might find a tad odd and attribute my recovery to others that make a little more sense.
Have a look, feel free to make fun, and see if any work for you.
Playing in the Park
Even when dragged there amidst a crying fit, I managed to find some sort of comfort or peace when I would head to a park. Sometimes I would walk around with a friend or family member, others I would just sit by the water and cry or vent, and on a few occasions I sat my big butt in a tiny swing and just swung back and forth for a while.
Watching Old Duran Duran Videos
Hold your laughter for a second! I was a child of the 80s and like any tween with raging hormones, I loved Duran Duran. They made my adolescence! Even though I hadn’t listened to them in years when I became depressed; watching a video (yes, a VHS tape) of their music videos made me feel better for 1 hour and 14 minutes at a time. I seemed to find comfort in remembering a time when all was right with the world and needed the escape.
Journaling
As you’ve read in my blog, I have kept a journal most of my life and seemed to write in it even more while battling depression. Having an outlet to vent my feelings and fears was important and though my friends and family were more than happy to be my sounding boards; a journal allowed me a place for no-holds-barred ranting where I didn’t need to fear judgement, pitiful looks, or unwanted advice. I could cuss and complain to my heart’s content at any given hour of the day or night, which came in especially handy with all of the sleepless nights.
Scary Amusement Park Rides
Getting me to an amusement park or any other place full of people having fun was like pulling teeth since that’s the last thing you feel up for when in the depths of depression, but I recall being dragged to a few local fairs during that time and forced to go on rides like the Tilt-A-Whirl, the Enterprise, and other spinning nightmares of metal run by some pretty sketchy carnies that managed to get my mind off of my depression and even inspire a giggle or two. I guess it’s hard to think about your misery when crippled with the mind-numbing fear that can only come from a carnival ride!
There you have it. Maybe try throwing on some Poison or other hair band from better days gone by and see if it helps you feel a little saner when nothing else seems to work. You may just surprise yourself.
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The Twitching Eye
As I sit here watching my left eye lid twitch five times in a row, every half hour like clockwork, I am reminded again of all the crazy things that stress can do to your body. I remember the last time I experienced the crazy eye twitch, an eye doctor told me that stress and fatigue are responsible for most episodes of eye twitching and spasms and that being stressed or upset can even cause eye pain.
I use to find it hard to believe that stress or anxiety could be responsible for some of my physical symptoms and this was partly due to the fact that a lot of times I didn’t even know I was stressed out. I guess I just got so good at brushing things off or was just so accustomed to living with stress and pushing past it that I thought I was fine when I actually wasn’t. One doctor put it best when they explained that my high tolerance for stress was like a big cup under a dripping faucet was slowly filling up the cup until there was room left for the water and it all came flooding out. Now I know when my “cup” is full and try to do something before it runneth over.
After much thought, I have figured out that this particular episode is the result of some things going on right now that I didn’t think should mess with my “cup.” Things like having to dogsit two very large dogs—one that’s more like a horse than a dog—a along with the two I already own, a slowdown in writing assignments after some time off, and a hair dying mishap that has left me looking like a reject from a teen vampire movie series. These things aren’t really a huge deal, but put ‘em all together and voilà, le eye twitch!
Does stress or emotional upset cause you any strange physical symptoms?